Surviving Iceland

Since i´m working on a better website (excited!!!) .. I am looking for pictures of Iceland .. landscape, places, activities .. whatever you own and would let me use? All images of course would be credited. Since I do not own a good camera myself .. This is what I thought of .. Contact me if you have any images you would let me use. Thank you!!

I have been working on a new look for this section for a while, a regular reader saw that I was getting very bored with this look so I have been given !! a new template for this section of my website and I am so excited! I can finally do what I had in mind for all of this .. oooo I hope you guys will be happy :) I am working on it as we speak.

I want to send a special thanks to those who have been supporting me in all of this, this last year and a half has been extremely complicated and difficult in so many ways .. and this has helped me very much! Thank you for being here, thank you for reading, thank you for the support!!

I hope you will enjoy! Loads of love back to you out there!

This will be interesting to watch .. I´m around, trying to wrap my mind around what has to be done ..

It is 2.22 am and I am absolutely unable to sleep. My mind keeps racing, while I try to park my mind in a nice comfy spot to relax in. Impossible.

So for the last couple of days i´ve been thinking ..

If things actually start to turn around, where will that end up? Are things going to turn around in any way at all? If not, will this little island end up isolated and deserted?
If things actually go towards something positive, how positive would it be? Would it ever get to the point where a person is able to find a part time job and stay in school? Will it ever turn out to be *normal* in any way, and I will explain my sense of *normal* later in this post ..

It has always been baffling to me how things were able to run as they used to, and of course the day has long since arrived where companies started tumbling over each other and the bloodbath begun, and is far from over. But enough is enough .. really .. I sometimes feel like i´m stuck in some sort of a negative-sarcastic soap opera written by some desperate persons trying to do whatever it takes to make more drama more soap more everything, with no sense of the actual cost.

It is odd to see places just .. run down or empty, there are many spots for great company ideas available, for your info, in some very good spots around the city and outside it. The problem seems to be the actual financing of these good ideas that turn into companies. I know of many ways to make a job or two, or even twenty, but I know it would never work out because I simply do not have the education so that the few persons controlling the funds would ever seem interested in listening (and am getting farther away from actually getting a degree with each month that passes with no solution of how to get back into full time school and work on the degree I so desire), and I guess i´m just not the type the money persons care for, I never lived "high" as many seem to have done.

So back to the ... turning around .. with the two paragraphs above in mind. This is a small country.
There are so many companies already gone off the radar, many still surviving, loads of good ideas that do not get anywhere, so .. with a small country like this.
Small population, very special language and history. How on earth is this nation supposed to pull its face out of the dirt and work its way up again. I know many of you think patience ... patience. I do have quite a bit of it mind you, I have been working on increasing my patience for the past 1 1/2 year at least. Its just so frustrating to think and think, and the only thing that comes out of it is chaos, because the way things used to work, did never make sense, and obviously did not work out, and while loads of folks were living the high life, I was having my normal life (which I will get into later), so if things are as bad as they are now, and never made sense before, how are things supposed to get better?

Wow this post almost makes no sense to myself even ...... it goes in circles I know, and there you have it ........ confusing !

My normal life would be educating myself, having a decent meal, being able to meet friends and family, spending time with the people I cared for, enjoying a simple life with minimal expenses, still good food, that is, nutrient, and on a very rare occasion I would have allowed myself something special, like eating somewhere else than at home. Something simple .. not so expensive. And I detest my life today, in so many ways, mostly because it is out of my hands to try to control, it is impossible to plan or hope for anything, look forward to anything (well, except looking forward to the next weather change ................................ ) ........ and I have no idea where i´m going with this.

Ahhhhhhhh ....... its too late, my mind is racing too fast, nothing makes sense. Not a thing.

I´m going to stop writing now before I confuse myself even worse .. and try to do something about the general appearance of this website ...

 

Hope you had a good day, and possibly ... a bit less confusing :)

I put up a new poll just now .. I hope to see some of your thoughts on the subject .. that is with the answers.
Just thinking :)

And thinking about adding something which is of MY own interest to this website .. well see in the coming few days, and I really need to change the look on this website. Not appealing, I felt it was warm and welcoming at first but i´ve changed my mind entirely ..

 ... for sure that it is time to move on, move to another country?

I´m nowhere ready for that but from the looks of everything it seems like it is very limited amounts of positivity around. I'm trying. Now as always i´m thinking what else I can do to make money. Specially since there is NO work to get .. none what so ever. If anyone has an idea what I can do more for money please let me know .. I´m motivating myself into doing this website up better again, and I really hope it will work out for me.

I´m relatively positive right now, I always have some sense of hope of something. I feel like i´ve been walking around without any sense of time. Everything seems to run into the same pit, same reason for everything, same situation everywhere, same thoughts everywhere, and same problems.

I have actually started realizing i´m thinking about various things that could be a good idea, for even more than just myself. But then my feet touch the ground and I remember that it is impossible to start a new idea, a business, or anything.

So where does education get me? It would get me further ahead, get me into the category of those high-end job seekers which are not even successful in landing a job, but then again .. isnt education also meant to turn on the brain? Right? Get some ideas flowing, get some sense of everything around.

I think my brain is almost on .. only thing I need is something to aim on, projects. I know this website is a project .. and I need to take better care of it, as someone said .. I could use it one day as a reference of what i´ve done. But I need to be tough on myself, block the negativity out and focus on the positive things, keep my head up high and do well !!

I hope i´ll hear from you guys one day or another, I still receive quite some e-mails, and I always enjoy exchanging letters.

I hope you had a nice weekend!

My weekend was actually quite good .. such loads of snow .. havent seen this much for years!! I love it :)

Yours truly, yet confused as always, Anya.

It has to be said, that I am sick of all of this and sick of this endless downward spiral. People keep reading "oh things are turning up again!" in the news, but things are simply not.

I do not want to be that negative person, you know, the person who is simply and only negative, so I took a pause from all of this and tried my best to find the positive points in life and positive things around me. I found very few. I did try, and i´m feeling a bit more cheerful, and ready to face the life again. I´m sure that will change at some point.

Ever since all of this tumbled, that is in October 2008, my life has only taken a turn for the worse, and there has not been anything I could have done to change that. I did try my best with this website and i´m not giving up .. I refuse to give up. Even though many days I wake up and I open the website and I think okay, this day will be good, you will do fine, and people will appreciate this and donate, and you will start smiling again in the end of the day. Then I start but I fill up with frustration as I keep reading negative stories and negative news all the time, and nothing positive comes out of it for me.

This website was supposed to be my lifeline but it has nearly failed. I would like to use this opportunity to thank you out there who have been supporting me, and let me tell you this .. I would not have made it to this point if it wasnt for you.

 

I decided the other day that I am going to change my life, I can not continue to swim against the current so i´m just taking a slight turn and taking the current on to the side.

I decided to enlist for school again, since I was forced to drop out at one point. This is not much, not a full time school, and I havent even paid for it yet. I decided to register for a few classes, and made a promise I would do whatever I can do pay for the tuition as soon as possible. We´ll see how that goes. I am going to continue to have faith in myself and this website, construct a new daily pattern for myself, study and work on this website, try to get a full nights sleep and try to do my best.

Right? This is positive? Yes I believe it is, I hope you agree.

 

I do still hope that all of you are doing well, I hope the holidays were good, and I hope you have your health, your home, and your family.

I am now going to read a bit, try to translate there after and then work on this website again .. I hope this year brings me positivity .. I hope this year brings YOU positivity as well. 

.. I´m watching the television where the president says the Icesave legislation is to be voted upon by the nation.

Will write more later .. but right now I need to listen ..

I have no idea how many times I have actually said this, out loud or not, but most days I just hate my life. I know its the wrong thing to think about, but for some reason it seems to be very difficult to focus on positive things when you have nothing to look at or look forward to.

I have started to feel more frustration and more lack of patience in myself and more disappointment in everything. Every day seems to be constructed of the same worries and same problems, same "nothing" and lack of the same things. I have found myself pacing back and forth and so build more anxiety, to the point where I think I am just going crazy. I need to have more of a point in this life than just this.

Want to try to continue educating myself. Just seems to be too far away.

I want to thank you who have been there, you know who you are .. I send you lots of love from snowy Iceland.

 

I am getting so very very very tired of all of this here in Iceland, life is so much different. I am not talking about just different because of financial reasons, but mentally I guess it is called.

I feel like depression is sitting and lurking over everything, and I feel like nothing is the same anymore. People cant do anything else than stay at home and I think it is just driving people crazy. I know it is driving me nuts most days. I feel like there is no chance of making any plans anymore, because whatever I try to do it seems to mostly fail, whatever I want is out of reach. I am getting so very tired of all of this.

I had to quit my education when all of this started, and I havent been able to continue. Now I am mainly just starting to be frustrated at all of this, and feeling like its impossible to try because all of this is far out of reach and only seems to be moving farther out of reach. 

What does one do when everything seems to be just out of reach, when you cant make any plans, when all you did for the past months hasnt worked out,  and you have too little to make anything happen? Wow .. it really makes one feel worthless doesent it.

I have had hopes, not even too high .. but I feel like i´m watching all of my hopes become nothing,
and christmas is not too far from now, my favorite time of the entire year, and i´ve lost all longing for the xmas.
I just feel like ..............................................