A wondering mind ...
It is 2.22 am and I am absolutely unable to sleep. My mind keeps racing, while I try to park my mind in a nice comfy spot to relax in. Impossible.
So for the last couple of days i´ve been thinking ..
If things actually start to turn around, where will that end up? Are things going to turn around in any way at all? If not, will this little island end up isolated and deserted?
If things actually go towards something positive, how positive would it be? Would it ever get to the point where a person is able to find a part time job and stay in school? Will it ever turn out to be *normal* in any way, and I will explain my sense of *normal* later in this post ..
It has always been baffling to me how things were able to run as they used to, and of course the day has long since arrived where companies started tumbling over each other and the bloodbath begun, and is far from over. But enough is enough .. really .. I sometimes feel like i´m stuck in some sort of a negative-sarcastic soap opera written by some desperate persons trying to do whatever it takes to make more drama more soap more everything, with no sense of the actual cost.
It is odd to see places just .. run down or empty, there are many spots for great company ideas available, for your info, in some very good spots around the city and outside it. The problem seems to be the actual financing of these good ideas that turn into companies. I know of many ways to make a job or two, or even twenty, but I know it would never work out because I simply do not have the education so that the few persons controlling the funds would ever seem interested in listening (and am getting farther away from actually getting a degree with each month that passes with no solution of how to get back into full time school and work on the degree I so desire), and I guess i´m just not the type the money persons care for, I never lived "high" as many seem to have done.
So back to the ... turning around .. with the two paragraphs above in mind. This is a small country.
There are so many companies already gone off the radar, many still surviving, loads of good ideas that do not get anywhere, so .. with a small country like this.
Small population, very special language and history. How on earth is this nation supposed to pull its face out of the dirt and work its way up again. I know many of you think patience ... patience. I do have quite a bit of it mind you, I have been working on increasing my patience for the past 1 1/2 year at least. Its just so frustrating to think and think, and the only thing that comes out of it is chaos, because the way things used to work, did never make sense, and obviously did not work out, and while loads of folks were living the high life, I was having my normal life (which I will get into later), so if things are as bad as they are now, and never made sense before, how are things supposed to get better?
Wow this post almost makes no sense to myself even ...... it goes in circles I know, and there you have it ........ confusing !
My normal life would be educating myself, having a decent meal, being able to meet friends and family, spending time with the people I cared for, enjoying a simple life with minimal expenses, still good food, that is, nutrient, and on a very rare occasion I would have allowed myself something special, like eating somewhere else than at home. Something simple .. not so expensive. And I detest my life today, in so many ways, mostly because it is out of my hands to try to control, it is impossible to plan or hope for anything, look forward to anything (well, except looking forward to the next weather change ................................ ) ........ and I have no idea where i´m going with this.
Ahhhhhhhh ....... its too late, my mind is racing too fast, nothing makes sense. Not a thing.
I´m going to stop writing now before I confuse myself even worse .. and try to do something about the general appearance of this website ...
Hope you had a good day, and possibly ... a bit less confusing :)
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